If there is one issue that can unite the women of our country during these increasingly tumultuous times, perhaps it is this: A lawmaker in Montana wants to make yoga pants illegal to wear in public.
On Wednesday, state Rep. David Moore (R-Missoula) introduced a bill that would expand the state’s existing indecent exposure laws. In addition to banning all public exposure of nipples, both male and female, the bill would also outlaw any piece of clothing “gives the appearance or simulates” the pelvic area, buttocks, genitals or female nipple, the Associated Press reported — meaning tight-fitting pants that are beige-colored could be included.
“Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” the Associated Press reported Moore saying. “I want Montana to be known as a decent state where people can live within the security of laws and protect their children and associates from degrading and indecent practices.”
This isn’t the beloved athletic-ish apparel’s first run-in with authorities in Montana. This fall, a Billings-area principal also banned yoga pants from Skyview High School, the Billings Gazette reported, amending the student handbook to read: “Leggings, jeggings, and tights ARE NOT pants and must be worn with dress code appropriate shorts, skirts, dresses, or pants.”
Sure, yoga pants are no doubt a necessity if you are someone who elects to “om” and can down-dog like it’s nobody’s business. But for everyone else, yoga pants are also an important tie that binds — every woman knows that regardless of age and physique, there is nothing quite as satisfying as wearing a pair of comfy, stretchy pants.
But lest Moore be painted as an absolute villain, his bill also contains a provision that would reduce the sentencing for a third indecent exposure infraction from a $10,000 fine and lifetime imprisonment to a mere $5,000 fine with a maximum of five years of jail time. Oh phew.
Damn, this guy is really afraid of letting women wear what they want to wear, isn't he?
