Which animal is the biggest asshole?

[Everlong]

I swear that there are certain species of flies that exist only to piss people off. Especially little lake flies. Mother fuckers.

[Hanley!]

Pigeons. Pigeons are cunts.

You have the whole fucking sky to work with and yet here you are, right up in my personal space. Lazy little fuckers. If you run at any other bird, they'll realise you're bigger than they are and fly off. A pigeon will just look at you with its wonky eyes and then deliberately get in your way.

[Everlong]

I once accidentally punched a pigeon while walking in London. It was marvelous.

[Hanley!]

You did a fine public service that day.

Fucking pigeons.

[PorkChop]

Gibbons.

[DBSoT]

Secret photo of @Hanley revealed.

Spoiler:

[Str8Shooter]

Are wasps considered animals for this? Because screw them. They don't do anything like bees do, all they do is sting you like dicks. I've actually never been stung by one, probably because even though you're supposed to stand still, I get the hell away whenever they're near.

[HardcoreLegend]

Are wasps considered animals for this? Because screw them. They don't do anything like bees do, all they do is sting you like dicks. I've actually never been stung by one, probably because even though you're supposed to stand still, I get the hell away whenever they're near.

I had a wasp nest in my garden. Tried to get rid of the thing myself but ended up with two wasps down the back of my t-shirt. I had these awful stings which got really bad on my back that lasted for ages!

I think most cats are little shits. They preted to be your friend and you begin to think "oh, maybe cats aren't so bad" then all of a sudden the fucker bites you! That's exactly what happened to me last week.

[AkydefGoldberg]

Are wasps considered animals for this? Because screw them. They don't do anything like bees do, all they do is sting you like dicks. I've actually never been stung by one, probably because even though you're supposed to stand still, I get the hell away whenever they're near.

I had a wasp nest in my garden. Tried to get rid of the thing myself but ended up with two wasps down the back of my t-shirt. I had these awful stings which got really bad on my back that lasted for ages!

Can sympathise - we had one which we got rid of by someone coming out to have a look at it and then we had another one, but the winter came and they disappeared and then they had no chance of returning when we demolished the nest (which was situated near the garage). Nice.

[The Legend]

I'm ashamed of you all that no one came up of this before I did...

[Hanley!]

I think most cats are little shits. They pretend to be your friend and you begin to think "oh, maybe cats aren't so bad" then all of a sudden the fucker bites you! That's exactly what happened to me last week.

You may have done this already man, but just in case, if a cat bites you it's worth getting that checked out. Cat bites can lead to bacterial infections; they can be quite a bit more serious than dog bites. My sister in law is a vet and I've heard her talk about it before.

[HardcoreLegend]

I think most cats are little shits. They pretend to be your friend and you begin to think "oh, maybe cats aren't so bad" then all of a sudden the fucker bites you! That's exactly what happened to me last week.

You may have done this already man, but just in case, if a cat bites you it's worth getting that checked out. Cat bites can lead to bacterial infections; they can be quite a bit more serious than dog bites. My sister in law is a vet and I've heard her talk about it before.

Luckily it didn't break the skin or anything. If it had done I would have been more tempted to punch it than I was already.

[VaderBomb]

The blue whale may have the biggest asshole on Earth.

EDIT: Sorry, nevermind.

[Twister]

Are wasps considered animals for this? Because screw them. They don't do anything like bees do, all they do is sting you like dicks. I've actually never been stung by one, probably because even though you're supposed to stand still, I get the hell away whenever they're near.

I was going to say wasps, they're so pointless. Not particularly a fan of Bees either but at least they serve some sort of purpose. Wasps are nasty little creatures, got stung by one twice as a kid. It's not nice.

[VaderBomb]

Are wasps considered animals for this? Because screw them. They don't do anything like bees do, all they do is sting you like dicks. I've actually never been stung by one, probably because even though you're supposed to stand still, I get the hell away whenever they're near.

I was going to say wasps, they're so pointless. Not particularly a fan of Bees either but at least they serve some sort of purpose. Wasps are nasty little creatures, got stung by one twice as a kid. It's not nice.

We would not exist on Earth if not for bees. Wasps on the other hand...

The "jerk store" called... they're running out of wasps.

[Locke]

When it comes to my kid, I hate wasps.. they attack him seemingly out of nowhere. It's not like he's "in their area," they just see him in his sandbox and dive him. I hate wasps because of that.. I have started gassing them something fierce because of it. No more wasps for about 3 acres where I live.. heh.

When it comes to me, personally, I hate ticks. Ticks latch on to you and even if you get them off of you within seconds of them biting, you'll have the itchiest bitemark that can last for months! Some places are unfamiliar with ticks, so I'll explain. They're tiny little bugs, usually no bigger than a sunflower seed (and sometimes so small you can barely notice them), and they bite you and suck your blood like a leech. They can go unnoticed for a long time, and cause serious diseases and health issues if removed too hastily. There's nothing good about them.

If bugs don't count as animals, then.. I guess possums are pretty annoying. Or deer. Deer might be beautiful creatures but they're dumb, they dive in front of anything with a set of headlights.

[CubsIn5]

I once accidentally punched a pigeon while walking in London. It was marvelous.

Thats not the kind of story you just put in your back pocket! Punching a pigeon is the kind of thing you get known for. "Oh yeah thats Tim, he punched a pigeon once you know"

[DBSoT]

Starfish- That actually physically look like big assholes.

[EmperorWu]

Chimps are the biggest assholes around. They're evil little bastards who attack things for no reason. They disfigure human beings with their crazy super hands. They're cannibals too , did you know that? They will eat other chimps ALIVE on purpose, they eat the organs while the victim howls nightmare inducing screams. They murder baby chimps just cause. They commit genocide against other kinds of monkeys. They are machines of pure violence and hate, even when they seem calm they are just brooding waiting for their opportunity to strike. Never let your guard down around one, in fact don't even get near one ever, run for your life.

Fuck.

Chimps.