What the fuck happened to me?

[Settee]

Out of everyone I went to school with, and are friends with, I am the only one that I know of that has an actual career. It took me 2 extra years to graduate, and yet I still have a career before some people who graduated on time. For instance, one of my former best friends and his group of friends still just parties all the time, jump from job to job, and have basically nothing going for them. Me on the other hand, I have found a career that I love, and am actually doing something with my life. Had you told me 2-3 years ago that I would be the one to make something of myself, I never would have believed it. So I wanna know, if I can mature, why can't anyone else seem to. What the fuck.

[Romo]

You grew up and realized what was important in life.

[Settee]

You grew up and realized what was important in life.

I don't even know when it happened. I literally just realized that I have grown up and they haven't.

[Twister]

I think we all feel like this sometimes. I look at some of my old school friends and some of them even now at age 22/23 and sometimes older are all about the partying and get 'depressed' if they can't party at the weekend for what ever reason. I can't help but roll my eyes at friends who are like "OMG i'm on antibiotics/other medication and can't drink for 2 weeks, my life is OVER" All I can think is there's more to life than that and that and if not being able to go out drinking for one or two weekends out of their life (especially when it's for the sake of their health) then something isn't quite right there. At one point I was all about the partying but I guess I grew out of it and for others it takes longer. Don't get me wrong I like partying and having fun but I just don't have the inclination to do it every weekend or even once a month nowadays.

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

[Hanley!]

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

You have friends buying their own homes and setting themselves up for life at 22/23?!

I don't know who those people are, but fuck those people. I'm 27 and my fiance is 29. We're just saving for a wedding now and even after that we'll still probably be renting a place and worrying about buying a place of our own. And I feel like I'm pretty far along compared to a lot of my friends that I went to school with. Some of them are still in college due to dropping out of old courses. Some of them don't work particularly great jobs.

Don't judge yourself harshly compared to these friends of yours, basically. They're definitely the exception rather than the rule in today's society. They seem to have been extremely lucky.

[Twister]

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

You have friends buying their own homes and setting themselves up for life at 22/23?!

I don't know who those people are, but fuck those people. I'm 27 and my fiance is 29. We're just saving for a wedding now and even after that we'll still probably be renting a place and worrying about buying a place of our own. And I feel like I'm pretty far along compared to a lot of my friends that I went to school with. Some of them are still in college due to dropping out of old courses. Some of them don't work particularly great jobs.

Don't judge yourself harshly compared to these friends of yours, basically. They're definitely the exception rather than the rule in today's society. They seem to have been extremely lucky.

Thanks Hanley, my problem is that i'm my own worst enemy.

Yep I have school friends who are planning their weddings and viewing flats/houses to buy as we speak! (well not quite as it's coming up to midnight). I generally try to concentrate on my own life and not to worry too much about what's going on in other people's lives but at it's hard not to compare sometimes. You're right a lot of my friends fell into their situations through pure luck. Especially when it comes to home owning (parents gave them the deposit or partner already had deposit saved up etc), I don't begrudge them at all because heck if I was in their situation I certainly wouldn't deny myself! Others were just smart and saved from a young age, I wish I knew what I know now back in my late-teens, I can't help but at the amount of money I wasted back in the day on stupid stuff. If I'd saved even half of the money I smoked/partied away the possibilities would be endless for us right now, but then I guess I was just being a somewhat normal teenager/young adult who didn't care about all this boring grown up stuff

Hindsight can be a bastard at times but i'm sure we'll get to where we want to be one day.

[Daz]

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

You have friends buying their own homes and setting themselves up for life at 22/23?!

I don't know who those people are, but fuck those people. I'm 27 and my fiance is 29. We're just saving for a wedding now and even after that we'll still probably be renting a place and worrying about buying a place of our own. And I feel like I'm pretty far along compared to a lot of my friends that I went to school with. Some of them are still in college due to dropping out of old courses. Some of them don't work particularly great jobs.

Don't judge yourself harshly compared to these friends of yours, basically. They're definitely the exception rather than the rule in today's society. They seem to have been extremely lucky.

This is why my sister scares every boyfriend she's ever had off. She turned 22 in January, she's been trying to set up a life with every bloke she's dated since 16.

I have the opposite problem really. I see a lot of my old school threads doing things, living very different lives to those they did when I really knew them at school. Me, I feel like I've been on pause since I was 15. I have legitimate health reasons as to why I'm not where I wanted to be/where I thought I'd be ... but it's still infuriating.

[SortaCreative]

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

You have friends buying their own homes and setting themselves up for life at 22/23?!

I don't know who those people are, but fuck those people. I'm 27 and my fiance is 29. We're just saving for a wedding now and even after that we'll still probably be renting a place and worrying about buying a place of our own. And I feel like I'm pretty far along compared to a lot of my friends that I went to school with. Some of them are still in college due to dropping out of old courses. Some of them don't work particularly great jobs.

Don't judge yourself harshly compared to these friends of yours, basically. They're definitely the exception rather than the rule in today's society. They seem to have been extremely lucky.

Thanks Hanley, my problem is that i'm my own worst enemy.

Yep I have school friends who are planning their weddings and viewing flats/houses to buy as we speak! (well not quite as it's coming up to midnight). I generally try to concentrate on my own life and not to worry too much about what's going on in other people's lives but at it's hard not to compare sometimes. You're right a lot of my friends fell into their situations through pure luck. Especially when it comes to home owning (parents gave them the deposit or partner already had deposit saved up etc), I don't begrudge them at all because heck if I was in their situation I certainly wouldn't deny myself! Others were just smart and saved from a young age, I wish I knew what I know now back in my late-teens, I can't help but at the amount of money I wasted back in the day on stupid stuff. If I'd saved even half of the money I smoked/partied away the possibilities would be endless for us right now, but then I guess I was just being a somewhat normal teenager/young adult who didn't care about all this boring grown up stuff

Hindsight can be a bastard at times but i'm sure we'll get to where we want to be one day.

What Hanley said. I have friends like that house hunting and getting married. And fuck them, they're rushing me!

If you're ever feeling down just remember i'm 27, single and prolly in my room with a bottle of coke playing Diablo 3 :>

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

[blackparade]

I gotta give you props for doing the right thing and taking care of your life while you're still that young. I've made enough mistakes for everyone here on the board, so here's to you:

I have a friend who is 22 who spent the majority of his time from 16 until now running his own business, and now has 3 rental homes, lives on the lake in east Texas, and has a brand spanking new Ford Mustang. That guy has his head on straight, and I could only wish I had his initiative. I'm just glad I have a steady job in my chosen profession. Now I need to get some sort of degree so I can make more that $12/hr.

[Everlong]

Yeah, your 20s, especially your mid 20s, is a weird time. Everybody's life moves at a different pace during that decade. I mean just last summer I was single as could be, while one of my best friends was married, bought a house, had a baby and now has a second on the way, and he's the same age as me.

Just gotta remember that life isn't a competition, just get the most out of it that you can and don't worry the pace other people are going at.

[AkydefGoldberg]

At the same time I look at other friends and they seem to have it all together, finishing Uni (I never even got through college let alone university), just getting started on their careers, buying their own homes and generally setting themselves up for life whilst i'm sat here like "I live in a rented house in a less than desirable area, I don't work, my partner only gets minimum wage and I can't train for my dream job because I can't afford the extortionate childcare costs in this country nor can I afford the cost of the course I want to do. I enjoy being home with my daughter and wouldn't change her for the world, but I also feel like I did things in the wrong order and now I'm stuck with the typical young mum stereotype hanging over my head constantly with the judgemental looks in the street and on the internet.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You've achieved quite alot and certainly handled things that other people your age would have ran a mile off. Acknowledge what you've you done, i.e raising a child but aim to do something with your life. Hopefully as your daughter gets older and you have abit more time to throw yourself back into a course, or education etc - keep the faith alive

I think it's only human to compare yourselves (or have other people compare your life to others at a similiar age) and say "Look at him! How well he's doing!" and tbh, that was demoralising for me but atm, I'm fairly content with life and not looking across about what other people are doing. If they are doing well then props to them but I'm not going to let that cast a cloud on my life.

[Twister]

Thank you Aky

[Enygma]

You need a little bit of Zlatan in your life.

[Locke]

Off subject a bit, but this thread reminds me of this song for some reason.