Dating thread

[Kein]

Guys, there's this wonderful girl who I'd like to go to prom with. Prom's in late April, so when should I pull the trigger?

You will regret it if someone asks her before you do. Besides, it takes a girl a while to find the right dress. The more time the better.

As for Valentines its always tricky, its not a bad way to ask her if you are interested in more than a friendship (I assume you are). I know a lot of people who went to prom with friends so this may be important to clarify to her your intentions.




I am currently browsing pof. Its actually not bad in my area... Hmm... Ill still wait...

[PorkChop]

I am currently browsing pof. Its actually not bad in my area... Hmm... Ill still wait...

It's not bad in my area either, though a good proportion of the messages I send out aren't replied to. I'm hardly the worst looking guy in the world, but when you think about it, a lot of the attractive girls (and most likely guys too) on dating sites are probably used to receiving quite a few messages each day, so it's really hard to make yourself stand out from the crowd (or in this instance, the rest of the inbox).

It's really shallow and demoralising. Some people's attempts at selling themselves are hilarious too - they never actually reflect their nature. I found a girl's profile earlier today who was quite attractive, blonde hair, blue eyes, and in her bio section she was making herself sound quite sweet -

I'm the type of girl that likes to walk along the pier on a cold night and stop for a hot chocolate at the end. I'm the type of girl that gets the giggles over the silly little things. I'm the type of girl that appreciates the small, sweet gestures. Looking for a genuine and caring guy :) xx

Sounds nice, right? Messaged her, a few minutes later I got this response: "You're fit but you're below 6"3 so I'm not interested". Hilariously blunt, 10/10 would laugh again. I'm 6"1, too. For all she knows, I could be the nicest and most caring guy in the world, but alas, I'm about three fingers' width too short. I wasn't even worth a genuine response.

Also, what I've learned from POF after being signed up just less than a week:

'Bubbly' = Fat
'Curvy' = Fat
'Voluptuous' = Fat
Pretty much everything = Fat

If you're gonna sign up, Kein, fasten your seatbelt.

[Everlong]

^To be fair, the girls don't owe you a response or anything. Better to be rejected by a girl you find to be shallow than to go out with her a few times, waste some money and find out about her shallowness yourself.

Additionally, all the people calling out the girls for being fat are every bit as shallow. Nobody's exempt.

The nature of online dating is basically window shopping. Heck, that's how it is in real life too. It all starts with attraction, and the relationship grows deeper the more you get to know the person. First dates and first interests are pretty superficial in general. If you don't like what's on the surface, is it really worth getting to know what's underneath on a romantic level?

a lot of the attractive girls (and most likely guys too) on dating sites are probably used to receiving quite a few messages each day, so it's really hard to make yourself stand out from the crowd (or in this instance, the rest of the inbox).

This is also similar to real life, really. How often do you think an extremely attractive girl goes out to the bar and gets hit on? Probably a half dozen times every time she goes out, right? Even just walking down the street, or at the grocery store, she's probably used to flirtation and pick-up attempts and it's likely become annoying. Eventually she's just going to start to tune everything out. That's the blessing and the curse of being attractive.

You're not going to get through to every girl you find attractive or interesting, both in person and online. Probably a pretty small percent, actually. However, that shouldn't keep you from trying. Stay genuine and avoid cliches as much as possible. Show her that you have a genuine interest in something in her profile, or make her laugh somehow. That's your best bet. If she shuts you down, so what? It's not as if you had anything invested in her. If she doesn't, then awesome, take advantage of the chance to get to know the person and make your OWN judgment about whether it's a relationship worth pursuing.

[War Daddy]

^To be fair, the girls don't owe you a response or anything. Better to be rejected by a girl you find to be shallow than to go out with her a few times, waste some money and find out about her shallowness yourself.

Additionally, all the people calling out the girls for being fat are every bit as shallow. Nobody's exempt.

The nature of online dating is basically window shopping. Heck, that's how it is in real life too. It all starts with attraction, and the relationship grows deeper the more you get to know the person. First dates and first interests are pretty superficial in general. If you don't like what's on the surface, is it really worth getting to know what's underneath on a romantic level?

a lot of the attractive girls (and most likely guys too) on dating sites are probably used to receiving quite a few messages each day, so it's really hard to make yourself stand out from the crowd (or in this instance, the rest of the inbox).

This is also similar to real life, really. How often do you think an extremely attractive girl goes out to the bar and gets hit on? Probably a half dozen times every time she goes out, right? Eventually she's just going to start to tune everything out. That's the blessing and the curse of being attractive.

You're not going to get through to every girl you find attractive or interesting, both in person and online. However, that shouldn't keep you from trying. Stay genuine and avoid cliches as much as possible. Show her that you have a genuine interest in something in her profile, or make her laugh somehow. That's your best bet. If she shuts you down, so what? It's not as if you had anything invested in her. If she doesn't, then awesome, take advantage of the chance to get to know the person and make your OWN judgment about whether it's a relationship worth pursuing.

Still doesnt change the fact that most of them online are fat, Tim. What did you do to me?!

[Everlong]

^I got news for you, brother.... 40% of America is fat.

[Kein]

Well Porkchop, I am glad to hear you got a response from someone at least. I was beginning to wonder if this site was one where you sign up and make a free profile and view stuff but can't actually send or receive messages unless you pay. No one seemed to be getting any messages back so I was getting suspicious.

Everlong is right in a lot of ways. It is very window shoppy, and it does apply to the outside world as well. It's easier for people to not respond online, because when you do respond you may also find yourself getting responses of pleas and even lashing out anger, that happens in the real world as well.

You guys shouldn't take this as being so demoralizing, think of it as practice. What you say in a message and how you portray yourself online, can segue way into your ability to approach and talk to people when you are out and about. You don't have to write a novel about what you noticed in their profile (save that for a real conversation), if they are interested in you they will check out your profile and give you a reply. When you meet someone outside while shopping or drinking it will more or less be the same, and it's nothing against you, it is simply just a lack of complimenting personalities.

[War Daddy]

^I got news for you, brother.... 40% of America is fat.

Im glad Im in the 60% then. Unless you are going by BMI standards, then Im freakishly obese.

[SKS]

Everyone's meeting people online and I'm just sitting here ....

I think I'll join POF and just message the hottest people I find. 1 in 100 have to be interested, right? RIGHT

[HFX]

^I got news for you, brother.... 40% of America is fat.

Im glad Im in the 60% then. Unless you are going by BMI standards, then Im freakishly obese.

Steroids and HGH will do that to you homie.

[War Daddy]

^I got news for you, brother.... 40% of America is fat.

Im glad Im in the 60% then. Unless you are going by BMI standards, then Im freakishly obese.

Steroids and HGH will do that to you homie.

No steroids or HGH here homie, kinda hard to do that in natural competitions.

[Settee]

Good job guys. You got me to sign up for Okcupid, and now I has date. I just decided to try it for the fuck of it.

[Settee]

Good job guys. You got me to sign up for Okcupid, and now I has date. I just decided to try it for the fuck of it.

[PorkChop]

Good job guys. You got me to sign up for Okcupid, and now I has date. I just decided to try it for the fuck of it.

Nice work!

[Viazon]

Good news. The hot girl from work I am crushing on badly has asked me to go with her to a Kings of Leon concert in the summer.

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

[AkydefGoldberg]

Good news. The hot girl from work I am crushing on badly has asked me to go with her to a Kings of Leon concert in the summer.

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

Three's a crowd comes to mind.

But let's hope her boyfriend gets drunks, shags someone else and his bird walks in with you shaking your head in disgust, she dumps her there and then and then proceeds to give you a snog and tell you to get your coat.

[Viazon]

Well, I did suggest to her that her boyfriend just stay at home and only me and her go. She laughed, but I wasn't joking.

[SortaCreative]

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

It's over. Don't even go, have some self respect.

[HFX]

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

It's over. Don't even go, have some self respect.

But really don't do this Viazon. Forget her, I mean you can still be friends I guess but don't do this. It will be awkward and uncomfortable and just unpleasant. You're a good guy and judging from the photos you post not bad looking. Find someone single and do awesome fun things with her.

[PorkChop]

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

It's over. Don't even go, have some self respect.

But really don't do this Viazon. Forget her, I mean you can still be friends I guess but don't do this. It will be awkward and uncomfortable and just unpleasant. You're a good guy and judging from the photos you post not bad looking. Find someone single and do awesome fun things with her.

Yeah, don't do it man.

Seeing her there with her boyfriend will make you feel like shit, as if she's taken a giant, steaming shit on your face. Go find someone else and have fun.

[Daz]

Bad news. Her boyfriend is also going.

It's over. Don't even go, have some self respect.

But really don't do this Viazon. Forget her, I mean you can still be friends I guess but don't do this. It will be awkward and uncomfortable and just unpleasant. You're a good guy and judging from the photos you post not bad looking. Find someone single and do awesome fun things with her.

Yeah, don't do it man.

Seeing her there with her boyfriend will make you feel like shit, as if she's taken a giant, steaming shit on your face. Go find someone else and have fun.

Never know, he might be into that sort of thing...