by Hanley! » Feb 12, '17, 3:36 pm
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya
Winner: Nikki
Comments: This could go either way. Nikki probably wins this feud, but if they wanted they could let Natalya win here and build towards a gimmick rematch that Nikki would win. I'm going for a Nikki win because I don't think this feud warrants a spot at Wrestlemania so they'll probably want to wrap it up and possibly clear Nikki up for the rumoured mixed tag at Wrestlemania.
Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James
Winner: Mickie James
Comments: There are rumours suggesting Lynch wins this match, but I can't bring myself to go with them, even if I'm worried they might be true. I love Becky and she should be the centre of the Smackdown women's division. But Mickie just came back and needs a win so new fans recognise her as a star. I thought it was dumb that her team lost the tag match at the Royal Rumble, but she definitely needs to win her first singles match back. Fingers crossed she pulls it off (if it's via shenanigans then even better). Could be a good match - I'm hopeful for this one.
WWE SmackDown Women's Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi
Winner: Bliss
Comments: Again, I should possibly be voting for Naomi because people are saying she's scheduled to win. But I can't do it. I don't think there's any chance she wins the title and I always struggle with predicting a DQ/Countout/Bullshit win for a Roundtable. Even if it seems likely, it's such a cop out on pay per view. Naomi is exactly the kind of challenger to bridge the gap to Wrestlemania, because they shouldn't even be considering letting her hold the belt. She's not that over and she's not that good. I feel bad for Alexa in this situation: she's a great character and promo and her wrestling is improving, but this match won't be very good and will likely die a death in front of the crowd. Bliss is still green and Naomi just isn't good. People talk about her athleticism and that's fair enough, but if you never have good matches then you're not a good wrestler.
Tag team turmoil match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
American Alpha (c) vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. Breezango vs. The Usos vs. The Ascension vs. The Vaudevillains
Winner: American Alpha
Comments: This match looks hideous. Some of these teams are talented, but they're all depicted as losers. It looks like this entire division should be jobbing to the Raw division, and it's not like that tag division is all that strong either. American Alpha and the Uso's are the only choices here, and I'm going to go with the champs because I really hope they don't lose the belts this soon. They're awesome and could really tear things up with better opposition.
Handicap match
Apollo Crews & Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler
Winner: Crews and Kalisto
Comments: It would be dumb if the heel managed to beat the two babyfaces. But this match is dumb already, so that could happen. Three of the most badly booked wrestlers in the company all thrown together in a poorly conceived match that nobody could possibly care about. No matter what happens, at least one of these talented wrestlers is going to walk out looking like an utter nobody, and if the writers really push themselves they could make them all look like nobodies. Who the fuck came up with this? Shittiest pay per view idea they've had in ages.
Luke Harper vs. Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton
Comments: I'll be cheering for Harper the whole time. I'd love it if they did something interesting and actually had him win the match. Not expecting it to happen though. I feel bad for Harper - how is the most talented big dude the company has the only one who's not getting a push? At least he should hopefully be able to shine a little in a pay per view singles match against a top worker. He hasn't had a lot of opportunities like that.
Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship
John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bray Wyatt
Winner: Bray Wyatt
Comments: The match lineup is strong, and the match could go a lot of different ways, which I like. Historically, the Elimination Chamber almost always ends up disappointing, but I'm still tentatively excited about this one. Only one winner is likely though, and that's Bray. And it just makes no sense to me. This feud is being handled completely wrong. Bray/Orton doesn't need the title involved. Bray becoming champion only to lose it a month later is an anti-climax. Bray winning the title after his cult has already basically crumbled is awful storyline timing. All of this is being done out of order and I don't really understand it.
Bonus Questions:
Will there be any first time champions? If so who? Yes. Bray.
Who will be the final two in the Elimination Chamber? Bray. Ambrose.
Who will get the most eliminations in the Chamber match? Bray
Who will take the final pinfall in the tag team turmoil match? J Uso.
Will John Cena get involved in the Nikki Bella/Natalya match? No.
I think I'm the only one who didn't pick Cena for the runner up in the chamber match, but he usually loses these things a little earlier. He's rarely a guy who works for long periods in these longer matches, they often get him out of there early - typically about half way through an Elimination match. Plus, I just don't think it makes sense to have him eliminated last. That sets stuff up between Cena and Bray (or Orton) which people don't really want to see right now. Instead they should be setting up his actual feud for Wrestlemania. So it should be Miz or Corbin or Styles or Ambrose that eliminates Cena from the match. Maybe a few of them acting together.