And this is not something I want.
I know in the dating thread many of you have found humour in many of my dating woes. Yes, I have been single for a long long time. But, I have met many girls over the years and have been on many dates. But every single time I always break it off because I am ultimately not interested in being with them.
I tell myself that I would love to have a girlfriend. But whenever I meet someone who is interested in me, it always feels like such a chore meeting up with them and taking them out. There is one girl I have been talking to recently. This girl is really into me. She texts me everyday. She always wants to meet. It's been a while since we have met and she says she misses me. I could totally make this girl my girlfriend. She is attractive as well. She's nice and kind. Ideally, she sounds like she could make the perfect girlfriend. But......even still. Whenever she asks to meet up, all I can think of that it will take time out of me staying at home on my own, watching TV. I had this conversation with my brother the other day. He told me that if I would rather stay home and watch TV than meet up with this girl, then that obviously means this girl isn't the one for me.
I don't know what it is. We get along but I really don't feel like I connect with this girl enough for her to be my girlfriend. Some couple maybe have to work on that but I have always been the type of guy to know from the start whether or not the girl I have just met is someone I want to be with. I know it is not nice to make judgments like that when you don't know someone yet. Which is why I have given her a chance. That's why I have been going out on dates with her and trying to get to know her. But I still don't feel anything for her. Every time, I am usually just waiting for the day to end so I can go home. Which makes me feel terrible because she is such a nice girl.
This worries me. What I wanted to know, and this is a question for the people on this board who are married or in serious relationships, did you know straight away you wanted to be with that person? Did you have to really try and get to know them before you knew you wanted to be with them? Did you have that feeling from the start or did it grow gradually? Did you have any of the feelings or doubts I have been talking about in this post? I really hope the problem isn't with me. I really hope that when I actually meet a girl who I do feel a connection with, who I do feel like I can be with, then it would be different. I would actually be excited to go out and meet her and be with her. But it's been such a long time that I have actually been out on a date with a girl that I was really interested in, I have no idea what that feels like anymore.
I have been accused by some friends of being too picky. I suppose there can be some truth in that. But I think you have to be sometimes. I mean, when you are deciding to be with someone you want to share you life with, it should be perfect. I know nobody's perfect, but you're own version of perfect. I can't invest my time with someone when I feel like we are not right for each other.
Sorry if I sound whiny or anything but this is something that has been on my mind lately and just I'd see what you guys think of it.