Lets Talk About Sex!

[Headlesspete]

So, from the guy that brought you that really stupid "Getting fired over a packet of crisps story", comes another great story / question that i was wondering if you good folks could answer!

I've just started seeing a guy, and he seems nice etc etc boring stuff...cute...etc.....However, i can see pretty soon its gonna be moving to a physical level. A few days ago, the subject of previous sexual partners came up (Insert Joke #1 Here), and i told him the truth, that as I've only come out a year ago, I'd only been in one relationship, and thus only had one sexual partner. Returning the honestly, he said he could't remember the exact number of sexual partners he's had, only that its "Definitely under 20".

Now, not judging, because to be honest i don't really care about anyone's past and what they've done, its up to them and has nothing to do with me, but i am a little worried about his sexual health and what impact that could have on me in the future (Insert #2 here). Would i be out of line if i asked him to get checked out at an STD clinic? I'm not an idiot, the gay community obviously has a stigma when it comes to STD's, and I don't feel comfortable, even with protection, risking anything unless I'm sure hes clean, but i don't want to ruin our chemistry or potential relationship with such a massive subject.

So yeah, thoughts, opinions or advice?

[Messiah]

If asking him to get tested leads to ruining the chemistry or the potential of a relationship, then there wasn't much of a future with it in the first place.

Just ask him and say that you would feel a lot more comfortable if he were to get tested. The last thing you want is to feel like the person you are having sex with may have a sexually transmitted disease.

[SortaCreative]

If asking him to get tested leads to ruining the chemistry or the potential of a relationship, then there wasn't much of a future with it in the first place.

This. All of this.

So what, just ask him. If he says no then you just peace the fuck out.

[Twister]

Messiah hit the nail on the head. Just ask him.

[Westcoastvibes]

If your afraid that it might single him out then suggest that you both get tested.

[PorkChop]

You wouldn't be out of line to ask him about it. If he's smart, after unprotected sex with a new partner he should be getting tested anyway, or if he's even smarter, he should just wear a condom. If he's slept with 20 guys, he should really get tested.

Getting tested is pretty easy for guys. I got tested for the full works I got with my current girlfriend. For chlamydia you just need to piss in a pot, and for HIV/AIDS it's a simple blood test. The only unpleasant test they did was for gonorrhea which involves a swab, but man up and take it. You'd rather have a swab done for a few seconds than have gonorrhea.

If he refuses to get tested, then don't bother about him. There's a good chance you dodged a bullet there.

[HardcoreLegend]

I think anyone who is sexually active with multiple partners should be getting tested regularly, especially in the gay community. It's something I'm very open and honest about and I also think the gay community in general are fairly open about the subject.

So have you actually asked him when he last got tested? Perhaps he was tested not so long ago and you should be able to ease your mind. If he says it's been a while then it might prompt him to go get tested on his own accord without you needing to ask him.

[Daz]

It's obviously a bit of a buzz kill to even broach the subject, but if it's what you need to have peace of mind going into the relationship, then he should be accepting of that. If not, then it's a poor reflection on him and you might want to rethink some things.