So, I was in Italy this week.

[Viazon]

Went back to my dad's home town. Saw some family. Met some of his old friends. This one dude in particular annoyed the fuck out of me though. This guy went to school with my dad, so I had to act polite to him because of that. But he kept getting on my case because I couldn't speak Italian. It was like it was this big abomination.

It was funny at first, sure. But it was literally all he would say whenever he saw me to the point that it pissed me off. At one point, I told my mum to tell him to piss off because he is getting on my nerves. She wouldn't translate it of course and my sister told me to stop being rude. I was being rude apparently. Me getting annoyed at him is supposedly rude, but him saying to me that my grandad would be spinning in his grave if he knew is apparently a totally acceptable thing to say to a stranger. He knew my grandad you see, and he happened to have to same name as me. He said he thought it was unimaginable that we shared the same name, yet I couldn't speak Italian. Like that even matters.

Sure, my whole family is Italian. As far as I know, that's how far back my ancestry goes. My mothers parents immigrated from Italy, as did my dad. Sure, I identify as Italian sometimes. We grew up as a typical Italian household and we observed a lot of Italian traditions. I support the Italian national team and yeah, I have always thought it would be nice if I learned Italian. I have always wanted to. But I don't think I HAVE to. Because at the end of the day, I am English. This is the country I was born in. This is the country I was raised in. This is the country I am from. Yeah, it would great to learned Italian and I do intend to learn it some time. But the only language anyone should have to learn is the language of the country I live in.

I really wanted to tell this guy to fuck off but they had to be nice to him because he is a friend of my dads and he owned a jewellery store and he was giving my sister a good deal on some earrings. To them, he was being nice and kind, but to me he was being condescending and judgmental and just all round annoying.

[Locke]

I don't think you were being rude at all, but then again, I'm the last person in the world that believes in the philosophy of "respecting one's elders." I'll respect elders if they show they're worth respecting. I spend 99% of my fucking life with those old geriatric bastards and I would slaughter nearly every one of them with an icepick given my choice (free of consequence in both life and afterlife, of course). Of course, there are some outstanding elderly gentlemen as well, and their wives seem to be nice ladies, but that's seriously like.. maybe 1/5th of the elders I deal with. The rest are just downright disrespectful, entitled, and sometimes just plain cruel.

TL;DR - you're okay in my books, old people are dicks.

[Daz]

Learn in Italian how to call him a cunt. That'll teach him.

[Viazon]

What annoyed me the most was my family. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it and was just messing around. But I didn't find it funny. It was getting on my nerves and my family could see that. Yet they were telling me to leave it and acted like I was the rude one because it made me so angry. They didn't have to tell the guy to piss off. But maybe they could have said to him that I don't appreciate his jokes and I don't find them funny. They maybe he would of backed off. But no, they just let him at it when it was clearly pissing me off.

[AkydefGoldberg]

I can sympathise in a way - I grew up speaking my mother tongue but I'm more comfortable speaking English so when I try to speak the mother tongue, I struggle to the point of stumbling, muttering through a conversation so hence why I try to keep myself out of situations where I would have to feel like that.

I can only imagine your parents' reaction was based on the respect your elders thing. If they knew your dad/grandfather very closely then can understand why they are hesitant to be blunt but they could, light-heartedly, tell him to leave off or make some sort of comment that is better than saying nothing.

But it's awful to be made to be feel like that. Only advice would be to avoid the guy as best you can or follow Daz's advice.

[Viazon]

Well, I'm back in England and his is in Italy so hopefully I never will see him again.