Viazon wrote:Before I answer this, someone is gonna need to tell me the difference between all of these beers.
Ok here we go:
LAGER - Fermented at a colder temperature, a lighter beer in terms of alcohol content and (usually) color, though there are definitely dark lagers out there. A lot of mass-produced beers like Miller or Bud are Lagers or Pilsensers, but don't let that fool you, there are plenty of high-quality lagers available as well.
AMBER/RED - Medium in pretty much all areas, including color (amber or red color, obviously), bitterness, body and alcohol content. An example of a mass-produced amber is Newcastle Brown Ale, technically a brown ale not an amber but still pretty close.
STOUT/PORTER - Known for dark colors and roasted flavors. A lot of stouts have a bitter, coffee-like aftertaste, though they vary in terms of their flavor and alcohol content quite a bit. Some, like milk stouts, are lower in alcohol content and are very smooth and sweet. Others, like imperial stouts, tend to be much "sharper" and more bitter with very high alcohol contents. Oatmeal stouts or smoked porters/stouts can keep a roasted taste and usually have a nice thick brown head. Lots of variety, but basically all will be dark in color and opaque. Guinness is a mass-produced stout but doesn't have a whole lot of flavor compared to good ones.
IPA/Pale Ale - These are very bitter ales, coming in a wide variety of colors and alcohol contents, but what they all have in common is their hoppiness. If you don't know what hops taste like, imagine sort of a grapefruit/grassy-like aftertaste.
SOUR - Sour beers are beers that are brewed to a point where they are purposefully infected, which creates an extremely sour taste. These are very specialized beers that you won't see at a lot of bars or restaurants, but they are awesome when done well.
BARREL AGED - Any kind of beer aged in a whiskey/brandy/scotch/etc barrel. Usually has a whiskey-like aftertaste.
BELGIAN - Belgian style beers are brewed using a special type of sugar that gives them a very sweet and rather sharp aftertaste. Usually they're light to medium in color and when in dubbel/tripel/quad forms can get to be very high in ABV.
BOCK - Bocks tend to be lighter, sweeter beers that are seasonal in the spring time.
WHEAT/WEISS - Very popular in Germany but also a lot of other places. Unless they're dunkels, they're usually lighter in color, sweet sugary after taste, but not as sharp as the aftertaste you'll find in a belgian.
That's a very general overview anyway.