Sexuality: Is it a choice?

[Twister]

Kind of inspired by the Walking Dead thread. Do you believe people choose their sexuality? Is being gay/lesbian/straight/bi/etc a choice? Or is it something you're born with?

Personally I believe sexuality is something you're born with. As in you don't wake up one morning and suddenly decide you're attracted to a specific gender. It's something that's built into you from the very beginning. For some people, it can be a bit of a journey trying to figure out who they are in that respect, whereas others just seem to 'know' from a young age.

Discuss.

[Hanley!]

Anyone who says it is a choice is getting all the neg rep.

[Twister]

Anyone who says it is a choice is getting all the neg rep.

Oooo me-ow Hanley! Although I am inclined to agree with you

[Circled Square]

I just have a hard time believing that it's hardwired into people. I've heard theories like the "gay" gene, and I'm not convinced on that, either. It's a hard subject for me to give a definitive answer about. like for example, why is there more Gay men than Lesbians? If that "gene" exists, would it affect both sexes at the same rate? I think men are more sexually driven, so it could be that. I also would like to throw mental illness into the ring. It's anti-reproductive to be Gay and re-producing is our biological goal.

Mental illness applies to transsexualism, IMO. Like how the hell is it a mental illness (or a disorder? correct me plz) if people get nervous in social situations, but not if somebody wants to get what they were born with cut off, and get pumped full of hormones to become a different gender. That is just wrong. Call me narrow minded or old fashioned, but I draw the fuckin' line at that LOL.

I think it's a mixture of both. Some people are naturally Gay, others aren't. Some people choose to be Gay, IMO.

[EmperorWu]

Honestly at the end of the day I don't care if it is or isn't. Last I checked this was America and if a person chooses or just is gay that's their right god damn it! USA USA USA!

[Hanley!]

I'm just giving fair warning. I try to be polite in these discussions when I can, but if anyone in 2015 is stupid enough to say that people make the choice to be gay/straight/anything else, then they deserve to be judged for being that close-minded.

We all grew up, went through adolescence and ended up gay/straight/whatever, and should all therefore know first hand that no choice was involved along the way. And given that there are no real societal benefits for being anything other than straight, it's pretty absurd to think that those falling outside that group made an active choice to do so.

[Circled Square]

I'm just giving fair warning. I try to be polite in these discussions when I can, but if anyone in 2015 is stupid enough to say that people make the choice to be gay/straight/anything else, then they deserve to be judged for being that close-minded.

We all grew up, went through adolescence and ended up gay/straight/whatever, and should all therefore know first hand that no choice was involved along the way. And given that there are no real societal benefits for being anything other than straight, it's pretty absurd to think that those falling outside that group made an active choice to do so.

The societal benefits of being straight will soon go the way of the dodo. Like how being white use to be an advantage, not anymore with affirmative action.

[EmperorWu]

I'm just giving fair warning. I try to be polite in these discussions when I can, but if anyone in 2015 is stupid enough to say that people make the choice to be gay/straight/anything else, then they deserve to be judged for being that close-minded.

We all grew up, went through adolescence and ended up gay/straight/whatever, and should all therefore know first hand that no choice was involved along the way. And given that there are no real societal benefits for being anything other than straight, it's pretty absurd to think that those falling outside that group made an active choice to do so.

The societal benefits of being straight will soon go the way of the dodo. Like how being white use to be an advantage, not anymore with affirmative action.

Holy shit I like you dude, but fuck you make me laugh some times.

[Twister]

Should there be any societal benefits to being straight in this day and age though? I don't think so. Being attracted to a certain gender shouldn't be grounds for discrimination.

[EmperorWu]

As much as I disagree with most of Squared Circle's opinions I appreciate that he's willing to stand up and speak his mind in a place where he's clearly the minority. At the end of the day these discussions are better had than not, and without him voicing the other side these topics wouldn't be getting to the multi-page range. Having said that, you have to know your opinions are pretty out there compared to most people around here. And even though you don't seem to think so, they could been seen as pretty insulting, much more than being called an idiot. So don't be upset when people give you shit back. I'm pretty neutral on this in the sense that your opinions don't piss me off regardless of how much I disagree. But you'd have to be pretty blind to not see how offensive some of things you've said, or at least how you phrased them, are to some people.

[Circled Square]

I'm just giving fair warning. I try to be polite in these discussions when I can, but if anyone in 2015 is stupid enough to say that people make the choice to be gay/straight/anything else, then they deserve to be judged for being that close-minded.

We all grew up, went through adolescence and ended up gay/straight/whatever, and should all therefore know first hand that no choice was involved along the way. And given that there are no real societal benefits for being anything other than straight, it's pretty absurd to think that those falling outside that group made an active choice to do so.

The societal benefits of being straight will soon go the way of the dodo. Like how being white use to be an advantage, not anymore with affirmative action.

Holy shit I like you dude, but fuck you make me laugh some times.

I wish I was as dead-set on what's right and what's wrong in the world. It would make my life a lot easier.



It's literally admitting to giving minorities more chances to shine than the people who were born there.

[Circled Square]

As much as I disagree with most of Squared Circle's opinions I appreciate that he's willing to stand up and speak his mind in a place where he's clearly the minority. At the end of the day these discussions are better had than not, and without him voicing the other side these topics wouldn't be getting to the multi-page range. Having said that, you have to know your opinions are pretty out there compared to most people around here. And even though you don't seem to think so, they could been seen as pretty insulting. So don't be upset when people give you shit back.

I don't give a shit if somebody starts crying or rage-typing when I showcase my opinion. If the mods don't like the levels of butthurt my opinions create, that's fine. They can ban me. I don't mind when people give me shit for it, but the thing is, people get away with shitting on me, as opposed to me shitting on them, because my opinion doesn't have an army behind it.

That's not an excuse though. If I'm wrong I deserved to be called out on it.

[Str8Shooter]

I don't understand the logic behind the thought process that you have to "choose" to be homosexual.

I mean when I was 12 or 13 I sure as hell don't remember having a moment where I had to decide for myself, "hmm, well time to choose, should I like girls or should I like guys?"

[Circled Square]

I don't understand the logic behind the thought process that you have to "choose" to be homosexual.

I mean when I was 12 or 13 I sure as hell don't remember having a moment where I had to decide for myself, "hmm, well time to choose, should I like girls or should I like guys?"

The choice happens rarely, but it does happen - "I hate girls, they've caused me so much grief, therefore I'm turning homosexual". That logic applies to very few people of course. Some people were raped or molested as a kid and have sexual identity issues. It's not always black & white.

[Str8Shooter]

I don't understand the logic behind the thought process that you have to "choose" to be homosexual.

I mean when I was 12 or 13 I sure as hell don't remember having a moment where I had to decide for myself, "hmm, well time to choose, should I like girls or should I like guys?"

The choice happens rarely, but it does happen - "I hate girls, they've caused me so much grief, therefore I'm turning homosexual".

What!? I'm pretty sure there isn't a person out there who "turned gay" because girls gave them too much grief.

[EmperorWu]

I'm just giving fair warning. I try to be polite in these discussions when I can, but if anyone in 2015 is stupid enough to say that people make the choice to be gay/straight/anything else, then they deserve to be judged for being that close-minded.

We all grew up, went through adolescence and ended up gay/straight/whatever, and should all therefore know first hand that no choice was involved along the way. And given that there are no real societal benefits for being anything other than straight, it's pretty absurd to think that those falling outside that group made an active choice to do so.

The societal benefits of being straight will soon go the way of the dodo. Like how being white use to be an advantage, not anymore with affirmative action.

Holy shit I like you dude, but fuck you make me laugh some times.

I wish I was as dead-set on what's right and what's wrong in the world. It would make my life a lot easier.



It's literally admitting to giving minorities more chances to shine than the people who were born there.

The thing about that is that in most cases it's not to give them privilege but to correct a lack of balance in the other direction. Meaning people are blind to their own privilege so when these minorities get a leg up to level the playing field and at least give them a chance. People flip out and say well I pulled myself up by my bootstraps why can't they? Completely blind to the institutional privileges they have enjoyed over these people since day 1. Also studies prove that affirmative action has helped white woman by a wide percentage over any minority group, not to mention the huge advantage white men still enjoy, so that's BS.

Anyway I'm going to be late for work. So I'll be back later to finish my thoughts.

[Twister]

I don't understand the logic behind the thought process that you have to "choose" to be homosexual.

I mean when I was 12 or 13 I sure as hell don't remember having a moment where I had to decide for myself, "hmm, well time to choose, should I like girls or should I like guys?"

The choice happens rarely, but it does happen - "I hate girls, they've caused me so much grief, therefore I'm turning homosexual". That logic applies to very few people of course. Some people were raped or molested as a kid and have sexual identity issues. It's not always black & white.

So if you don't believe its hard-wired into people like you said in a previous post, and you believe "the choice happens rarely" (which I find difficult to understand, you can't force yourself to be attracted to a different gender)... how do you think ones sexuality is determined in the majority of cases then?

[Twister]

I don't understand the logic behind the thought process that you have to "choose" to be homosexual.

I mean when I was 12 or 13 I sure as hell don't remember having a moment where I had to decide for myself, "hmm, well time to choose, should I like girls or should I like guys?"

The choice happens rarely, but it does happen - "I hate girls, they've caused me so much grief, therefore I'm turning homosexual".

What!? I'm pretty sure there isn't a person out there who "turned gay" because girls gave them too much grief.

I agree, many people experiment. Especially during their teen years as part of their journey of self discovery, but I don't think anyone suddenly decides they've had enough of one gender and becomes attracted to the opposite one. Chances are they've always been attracted to that gender (or even both genders), they just haven't realized it until then.

[Circled Square]

I even said in my post that it's not common for that to happen. The latter is much more common. People who are abused have a tough time going through puberty, and have sexual identity issues.

I read an article recently about a Lesbian who openly said, "I choose this sexuality". I wish I could dig it up. It was a good read and took me by surprise.

@EmperorWu

It's debatable that women have become a minority, with the feminist movement being as popular as it is now. The truth is, and it hurts to say this as a black dude - white's earned that privilege. Early on, we were given jack shit, families grew up with nothing - living in nothing - crack, gang violence, etc. All things you've heard about. The fact whites get an easier time is because they go to work. Check out fbi.gov, blacks kill each other at an alarming rate - interracial crime, the majority of the time, is black on ____.

They've earned the right to be given the benefit of the doubt. I live in a white neighborhood now, and I grew up in a poverty ridden black one - the cultural difference is staggering. We will get there in a few generations though.

[Circled Square]

I'd like to point out that the term "bi-sexual" has been taken out of the media over the past few years. It's like people have to be one or the other. I wish that word was used more to describe people's sexuality.