Am I in love? I think I might be in love.

[saucernips]

You're fucking mental mate.

[Locke]

You know, I think most of us have been obsessed with a girl before, so for those of you in this thread being insensitive and for whatever reason disrespectful, I think you guys could benefit from sticking your head in an oven.

It's tough man. It's the worst feeling in the world. But ya gotta move on. I was sick in "love" for over a year. I blew my life's savings to go to Paris with a girl and defeated a life long obesity problem, losing 115 pounds to woo this chick and she still shut me down. I wanted to die. I met my future wife shortly after and I have no doubt how wrong I was. I wasn't in love and I had no idea what love was until my wife. Love can't be single party. You don't know love until you are loved back. Simple as that. Love isn't a fight, or something unobtainable. It's easier than you think, much easier than what you are going through now.

Sad truth, I just wanted sex with that other girl. I didn't think I did but I did. I'm glad she shut me down, she would have made me miserable and I her. Recover and move on before the thought makes you dangerous. And for pity's sake, stop texting her. How would you feel if your significant other texted some other bloke all the time? She's currently texting you, even if you two hooked up she'd probably text someone else. That is not cool for her to do, don't get caught up in that, friend.

[Daz]

You know, I think most of us have been obsessed with a girl before, so for those of you in this thread being insensitive and for whatever reason disrespectful, I think you guys could benefit from sticking your head in an oven.

It's tough man. It's the worst feeling in the world. But ya gotta move on. I was sick in "love" for over a year. I blew my life's savings to go to Paris with a girl and defeated a life long obesity problem, losing 115 pounds to woo this chick and she still shut me down. I wanted to die. I met my future wife shortly after and I have no doubt how wrong I was. I wasn't in love and I had no idea what love was until my wife. Love can't be single party. You don't know love until you are loved back. Simple as that. Love isn't a fight, or something unobtainable. It's easier than you think, much easier than what you are going through now.

Sad truth, I just wanted sex with that other girl. I didn't think I did but I did. I'm glad she shut me down, she would have made me miserable and I her. Recover and move on before the thought makes you dangerous. And for pity's sake, stop texting her. How would you feel if your significant other texted some other bloke all the time? She's currently texting you, even if you two hooked up she'd probably text someone else. That is not cool for her to do, don't get caught up in that, friend.

I don't think it's insensitive. Viazon clearly has his head in the sand, talking about marriage. The girl is in another relationship and has never socialized with him outside of work. It's not healthy for him. Gotta be cruel to be kind and give him the push he needs to get past it.

[Str8Shooter]

I do feel like I am familiar with her thought. I have known her for over a year and a half now and we talk every day about everything. I know about her family and her life and all of that kind of stuff, as she does with me. She has even met my mother before. When we worked the same shift, I would give her a lift to work. Sometimes my mum needed a lift so they would chat. Even my mum loves her. And it didn't just happened straight away. Yeah, I thought she was hot when I first saw her, but I thoughts that's all she had going for her. But as time went on and we got to know each other better, that's when these feelings started to grow. And it must show because another girl at work who I am good friends with has told me that more people at work know about it than I might think.

And for the record, I have thought about a future with her. I would seriously marry this girl. However, I hope it really is just a really big crush or infatuation and not love.

You know what she shares with you. You know fuck all about her outside of work. You sound obsessive and a little bit creepy to be honest sir. I don't mean that to sound so blunt, but I feel someone has to snap you out of it. You said yourself, you've never socialized with her outside of work. You probably don't know anything about 95% of her life. You're infatuated with a girl you can't have. Simple as that.

You need to grow up man, this isn't high school.

This is ice cold, downright rude and quite frankly if you'd have said it to me I'd be pissed.

I think everyone is this thread is probably unqualified to be providing advice when we really don't know nearly enough about this situation as Viazon does. By your reasoning, we don't know Viazon, or anybody else on these forums, because all we do is talk to each other online and have never even met in person.

He' said he's fantasized about marriage and all that. That's normal with someone you like a lot, it doesn't mean he thinks it's bound to happen, he seems to be pretty rational in knowing that his situation is a tough one and his chances with this girl are slim because of their situation.

[PorkChop]

Yeah, fantasising about marriage isn't that bad, especially when you know the girl. At least you're not like me, when you're like:

[Daz]

I do feel like I am familiar with her thought. I have known her for over a year and a half now and we talk every day about everything. I know about her family and her life and all of that kind of stuff, as she does with me. She has even met my mother before. When we worked the same shift, I would give her a lift to work. Sometimes my mum needed a lift so they would chat. Even my mum loves her. And it didn't just happened straight away. Yeah, I thought she was hot when I first saw her, but I thoughts that's all she had going for her. But as time went on and we got to know each other better, that's when these feelings started to grow. And it must show because another girl at work who I am good friends with has told me that more people at work know about it than I might think.

And for the record, I have thought about a future with her. I would seriously marry this girl. However, I hope it really is just a really big crush or infatuation and not love.

You know what she shares with you. You know fuck all about her outside of work. You sound obsessive and a little bit creepy to be honest sir. I don't mean that to sound so blunt, but I feel someone has to snap you out of it. You said yourself, you've never socialized with her outside of work. You probably don't know anything about 95% of her life. You're infatuated with a girl you can't have. Simple as that.

You need to grow up man, this isn't high school.

This is ice cold, downright rude and quite frankly if you'd have said it to me I'd be pissed.

I think everyone is this thread is probably unqualified to be providing advice when we really don't know nearly enough about this situation as Viazon does. By your reasoning, we don't know Viazon, or anybody else on these forums, because all we do is talk to each other online and have never even met in person.

He' said he's fantasized about marriage and all that. That's normal with someone you like a lot, it doesn't mean he thinks it's bound to happen, he seems to be pretty rational in knowing that his situation is a tough one and his chances with this girl are slim because of their situation.

Well clearly I don't think it's normal to fantasize about marrying a girl I've never socialized with outside of work, who is currently in a relationship with somebody else. I find it a little borderline stalkerish that he appears to be so obsessed with her, that he'd ask for the opinions of "people he's never met in person" ... Think about sleeping with her perhaps, calling her "perfect for him" when he himself has admitted to only talking to her during work etc. It's way overboard to be fantasizing about marriage, and frankly I'd have enough respect for my friend not to be fantasizing about her at all when she's currently in a relationship. If it's at the point where other people at work know the situation, it's also gonna effect her personal life, which she may not what Viazon to have any part of. I like the guy, but come on, encouraging and giving him hope isn't any better for him than giving him the admittedly cold truth.

I've been in this situation. I wish to god somebody was rude to me and helped me snap out of it. It's his right to be pissed, as it's your right to think me rude.

[Str8Shooter]

I do feel like I am familiar with her thought. I have known her for over a year and a half now and we talk every day about everything. I know about her family and her life and all of that kind of stuff, as she does with me. She has even met my mother before. When we worked the same shift, I would give her a lift to work. Sometimes my mum needed a lift so they would chat. Even my mum loves her. And it didn't just happened straight away. Yeah, I thought she was hot when I first saw her, but I thoughts that's all she had going for her. But as time went on and we got to know each other better, that's when these feelings started to grow. And it must show because another girl at work who I am good friends with has told me that more people at work know about it than I might think.

And for the record, I have thought about a future with her. I would seriously marry this girl. However, I hope it really is just a really big crush or infatuation and not love.

You know what she shares with you. You know fuck all about her outside of work. You sound obsessive and a little bit creepy to be honest sir. I don't mean that to sound so blunt, but I feel someone has to snap you out of it. You said yourself, you've never socialized with her outside of work. You probably don't know anything about 95% of her life. You're infatuated with a girl you can't have. Simple as that.

You need to grow up man, this isn't high school.

This is ice cold, downright rude and quite frankly if you'd have said it to me I'd be pissed.

I think everyone is this thread is probably unqualified to be providing advice when we really don't know nearly enough about this situation as Viazon does. By your reasoning, we don't know Viazon, or anybody else on these forums, because all we do is talk to each other online and have never even met in person.

He' said he's fantasized about marriage and all that. That's normal with someone you like a lot, it doesn't mean he thinks it's bound to happen, he seems to be pretty rational in knowing that his situation is a tough one and his chances with this girl are slim because of their situation.

Well clearly I don't think it's normal to fantasize about marrying a girl I've never socialized with outside of work, who is currently in a relationship with somebody else. I find it a little borderlike stalkerish that he appears to be so obsessed with her, that he'd ask for the opinions of "people he's never met in person" ... Think about sleeping with her perhaps, calling her "perfect for him" when he himself has admitted to only talking to her during work etc. It's way overboard to be fantasizing about marriage, and frankly I'd have enough respect for my friend not to be fantasizing about her at all when she's currently in a relationship. If it's at the point where other people at work know the situation, it's also gonna effect her personal life, which she may not what Viazon to have any part of. I like the guy, but come on, encouraging and giving him hope isn't any better for him than giving him the admittedly cold truth.

I've been in this situation. I wish to god somebody was rude to me and helped me snap out of it. It's his right to be pissed, as it's your right to think me rude.

All I'm saying is we're not IN his situation, these situations are all completely different with completely different human beings. Just because other people in here have been in similar situations doesn't mean he should do what you tell him.

Ultimately, only Viazon knows his feelings and how badly they're affecting his day to day life. It's nice to hear people's opinions on here, but only he has to be the one to decide what action he's going to take going forward.

And telling him to "grow up", and he's "not in high school", is just belittling him and trying to embarrass him. I've seen your writing Daz, and you're capable of getting your point across without resorting to stuff like that.

[Daz]

I do feel like I am familiar with her thought. I have known her for over a year and a half now and we talk every day about everything. I know about her family and her life and all of that kind of stuff, as she does with me. She has even met my mother before. When we worked the same shift, I would give her a lift to work. Sometimes my mum needed a lift so they would chat. Even my mum loves her. And it didn't just happened straight away. Yeah, I thought she was hot when I first saw her, but I thoughts that's all she had going for her. But as time went on and we got to know each other better, that's when these feelings started to grow. And it must show because another girl at work who I am good friends with has told me that more people at work know about it than I might think.

And for the record, I have thought about a future with her. I would seriously marry this girl. However, I hope it really is just a really big crush or infatuation and not love.

You know what she shares with you. You know fuck all about her outside of work. You sound obsessive and a little bit creepy to be honest sir. I don't mean that to sound so blunt, but I feel someone has to snap you out of it. You said yourself, you've never socialized with her outside of work. You probably don't know anything about 95% of her life. You're infatuated with a girl you can't have. Simple as that.

You need to grow up man, this isn't high school.

This is ice cold, downright rude and quite frankly if you'd have said it to me I'd be pissed.

I think everyone is this thread is probably unqualified to be providing advice when we really don't know nearly enough about this situation as Viazon does. By your reasoning, we don't know Viazon, or anybody else on these forums, because all we do is talk to each other online and have never even met in person.

He' said he's fantasized about marriage and all that. That's normal with someone you like a lot, it doesn't mean he thinks it's bound to happen, he seems to be pretty rational in knowing that his situation is a tough one and his chances with this girl are slim because of their situation.

Well clearly I don't think it's normal to fantasize about marrying a girl I've never socialized with outside of work, who is currently in a relationship with somebody else. I find it a little borderlike stalkerish that he appears to be so obsessed with her, that he'd ask for the opinions of "people he's never met in person" ... Think about sleeping with her perhaps, calling her "perfect for him" when he himself has admitted to only talking to her during work etc. It's way overboard to be fantasizing about marriage, and frankly I'd have enough respect for my friend not to be fantasizing about her at all when she's currently in a relationship. If it's at the point where other people at work know the situation, it's also gonna effect her personal life, which she may not what Viazon to have any part of. I like the guy, but come on, encouraging and giving him hope isn't any better for him than giving him the admittedly cold truth.

I've been in this situation. I wish to god somebody was rude to me and helped me snap out of it. It's his right to be pissed, as it's your right to think me rude.

All I'm saying is we're not IN his situation, these situations are all completely different with completely different human beings. Just because other people in here have been in similar situations doesn't mean he should do what you tell him.

Ultimately, only Viazon knows his feelings and how badly they're affecting his day to day life. It's nice to hear people's opinions on here, but only he has to be the one to decide what action he's going to take going forward.

And telling him to "grow up", and he's "not in high school", is just belittling him and trying to embarrass him. I've seen your writing Daz, and you're capable of getting your point across without resorting to stuff like that.

And that's not belittling?

I realise I'm not in his situation, which is why I didn't use my own personal experiences to justify my point originally. I can only form my opinion from the information Viazon has given and from the information he has given, it makes it sound like the kind of crushes I had in high school. I'm not telling him he should do what I tell him, I think he should for his own sanity, happiness and love life, but that's another matter. He solicited opinions, I gave him my honest opinion.

I've never said he's not in a tough situation, liking somebody when it's not reciprocated absolutely sucks. There's no two ways about it. But Viazon is talking about this girl being perfect for him, talking about marriage etc. when he really doesn't know her outside of one environment. How can you possibly know somebody, really know somebody, when you only know one part of their life? You can't. And if he spends his time texting her, calling her outside of work, that's disrespectful to her, her relationship and her current boyfriend, don't you think? If he could potentially cause problems in his friends personal life, because of his infatuation, he should probably take a look at himself and draw a line in the sand.

It's no different to how Locke points out that love is a mutual thing. Viazon shouldn't have to ask the question, certainly not from the likes of us, who will argue this point at 4 in the morning. It's not an abstract concept that needs 20 questions to be understood. I think if he put as much energy into pursuing a relationship with a girl who wasn't already in one, he'd be a lot happier.

Plus, as I said in my original post, I'm a cynical bastard ... so what do I know?

[Str8Shooter]

And that's not belittling?

I realise I'm not in his situation, which is why I didn't use my own personal experiences to justify my point originally. I can only form my opinion from the information Viazon has given and from the information he has given, it makes it sound like the kind of crushes I had in high school. I'm not telling him he should do what I tell him, I think he should for his own sanity, happiness and love life, but that's another matter. He solicited opinions, I gave him my honest opinion.

I've never said he's not in a tough situation, liking somebody when it's not reciprocated absolutely sucks. There's no two ways about it. But Viazon is talking about this girl being perfect for him, talking about marriage etc. when he really doesn't know her outside of one environment. How can you possibly know somebody, really know somebody, when you only know one part of their life? You can't. And if he spends his time texting her, calling her outside of work, that's disrespectful to her, her relationship and her current boyfriend, don't you think?

It's no different to how Locke points out that love is a mutual thing. Viazon shouldn't have to ask the question, certainly not from the likes of us, who will argue this point at 4 in the morning. I think Viazon knows deep down he doesn't love her too, he's just infatuated by her because she's unattainable.

I think it's unfair to tell him he isn't in love. He's asking the question about whether he's in love, I don't think he even knows, but from our position we don't know if he is or not. Clearly he's never felt as strongly about a woman before as he does for this girl, so if he isn't in love with her, then he's never been in love.

I don't think it's unfair to text or talk to her outside of work, she's his friend, friends are allowed to talk to each other. Right now all they are is friends, so there shouldn't be any problem with that. If he was texting her about whether she was into him, or if she was thinking of leaving her boyfriend, then maybe.

Regardless, I'm getting into uncomfortable territory talking about someone else's love life . I wish him the best of luck and my final advice to him if he even wants it is to trust his own feelings and do whatever is going to make him happy and his life easier going forward.

[Daz]

Well obviously, I'm not being a dick to make his life worse lol.

[Str8Shooter]

Well obviously, I'm not being a dick to make his life worse lol.

I should hope not.

But I think there's one thing we can agree on. Don't listen to HFX's idea of letting him take you into the woods for a hunting trip.

[Daz]

Oh god no. I'd never be seen again.

[Kein]

You are obsessing about what you can't have Viazon. This is a carrot at dangling in front of your nose. You work with her, of course you are going to see her a lot and the fact you can't have her makes you want her more. You think about her a lot because you see her so much. That's really all there is to it.

[HFX]

Well obviously, I'm not being a dick to make his life worse lol.

I should hope not.

But I think there's one thing we can agree on. Don't listen to HFX's idea of letting him take you into the woods for a hunting trip.

Sounds like the two of us are going to road trip to Thunder Bay in the near future....

And fuck you Daz, you should be honoured to be amongst my chosen victims...I mean camping buddies. Ya definitely not the first one.

[Daz]

Well obviously, I'm not being a dick to make his life worse lol.

I should hope not.

But I think there's one thing we can agree on. Don't listen to HFX's idea of letting him take you into the woods for a hunting trip.

Sounds like the two of us are going to road trip to Thunder Bay in the near future....

And fuck you Daz, you should be honoured to be amongst my chosen victims...I mean camping buddies. Ya definitely not the first one.

I know where the bodies are buried...

[Chewy]

Maybe HFX and Viazon should kidnap this girl and take her out to the woods for some alone time.

If she forgives you for two weeks of rape and torture you know it's love.

[HFX]

Well obviously, I'm not being a dick to make his life worse lol.

I should hope not.

But I think there's one thing we can agree on. Don't listen to HFX's idea of letting him take you into the woods for a hunting trip.

Sounds like the two of us are going to road trip to Thunder Bay in the near future....

And fuck you Daz, you should be honoured to be amongst my chosen victims...I mean camping buddies. Ya definitely not the first one.

I know where the bodies are buried...

I don't bury bodies and I definitely don't have a large investment in a pig farm.

But really when did I become the creepy murdering rapist member of the club? I mean a redneck I can see and I guess I just answered my own question. Damn Deliverance giving us bad names. Most of us just like to get drunk and do stupid shit.

And I was being genuine with my offer but I guess y'all are shit out of luck. I'm gonna just take my chloroform and SKS and go behind that bunch of rocks over there.

[Enygma]

This thread got awkward real quick

[ShaneOfan]

Picture your self ten years from now. Would you rather be sitting peacefully by yourself reading your favorite book while your favorite album plays in the background. Or would you rather be standing there in the kitchen next to her as you argue over bills and if she really needed to spend $235 on a new clothes and shoes. If it's the first you are not in love if it's the second you may just be in love.

[Viazon]

Picture your self ten years from now. Would you rather be sitting peacefully by yourself reading your favorite book while your favorite album plays in the background. Or would you rather be standing there in the kitchen next to her as you argue over bills and if she really needed to spend $235 on a new clothes and shoes. If it's the first you are not in love if it's the second you may just be in love.

The second one definitely sounds more appealing to me. But they may not be out of this supposed love for her. That could be down to my crippling fear of ending up alone.

Anyway, I didn't expect this thread to get this out of hand. And Daz, while some of your comments may have knocked me back a bit, maybe I needed someone to give it to me like that. Perhaps I am just infatuated with a girl I know I can't have.

Just a couple of things though. This is more than just a high school crush. That much I know. I have many crushes when I was at school and they were all purely just because the girl was attractive. And I got over all of them pretty quickly. I'm not a child anymore. I am a man. I don't fall for a girl just because she is attractive. There are many many girls at my work. A majority of them are good looking. Most of them are nice. A few of them I talk to and only about three who I really get along well with. Most of the girls at work, I know nothing about. But I don't see how never hanging out with her outside of work matters. I have known this girl for over a year and a half now. We see each other everyday. We talk everyday. And they aren't just typical work conversations you have with a colleague. We have proper conversations. I don't if its during work or during some kind of social gathering. You speak to someone that much everyday for over a year, you are gonna know a lot about them. I know where she was born. I know about her family. I know how many nieces and nephews she has. I know her hobbies. I know her dreams. I know what makes her mad and what makes her happy. I can tell when she is in a really bad or really good mood. And this is because she has allowed me to know these things. Just like she knows most things about me. We talk everyday and we talk a lot. Maybe I am a little bit obsessive. I won't deny that. But don't presume to think that I don't really know her just because I have never seen her outside of work.

And yeah, about the texting. Sure, I text her now and then, but it's not like I'm coming on to her. It's not like I flirt with her. We just chat. Mostly about movies and music. I will text her when I have heard a song or watched a movie she might like and she does the same to me. She's a friend. I text all of my friends regularly. And her boyfriend doesn't mind because I know for a fact he has been there when I have texted her and he has replied to something I have said to something I texted her. Nothing bad, just normally a response to a song and movie I may have recommended for her. That's another thing, I know she must absolutely not think of me in any way other then a friend, because if she did, she would in no let her boyfriend know. But she obviously feels she has nothing to hide, because she doesn't. I have never tried to ask her out or show any kind of romantic feelings in any way when I text her. Just friendly chat.

And sure, a single girl would be great. If I could find one. There is another girl at work who I kinda fancy. Very pretty. Funny. Nice. And most of all, single. Definitely the kind of girl I could see myself dating. So I went for it for her. And she rejected me. I know the best thing for me now would be to meet another girl, perhaps one who is actually available. Then I can put my feelings for this girl behind me.

I really wasn't looking for any kind of solution from you guys. But everyone has always come to this place and speak to you lot when things have been on their mind. I just needed to get this off my chest and if anyone had any thoughts on the matter. And I appreciate everyone's comments, including Daz.

I'll end by saying this. I don't know what this is with this girl. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's just a really big crush. Maybe the only reason she is on my mind is because I am forced to see her everyday. Maybe deep down she feels the same way. Maybe she holds absolutely no romantic feelings towards me at all. Maybe I'm being silly. Maybe I'm being creepy. Maybe I'm being obsessive. Maybe I'm being stalkerish. Whatever. Call it what you will. All I know is, is that there is a girl currently in my life who makes me feel the way I do. Say what you want, but I can't help the way I feel. I haven't felt this strongly about a girl for a long long time. And I have been terrified about feeling this way about another girl. Because if my past history is anything to go by, it's all going go wrong and I am gonna end up feeling like shit. I really really wish I didn't feel this way.