When people won't say why they're hospitalized..

[Locke]

So, I'm probably way off on this, but this is something that I've never understood and always irked me. Sometimes, people get hospitalized. Whether they're famous people, your friends/family, or even just acquaintances, you hear about it and your curiosity and concern instantly peaks. You just gotta know "What happened?" BUT!! They decide to not divulge. They leave their medical concerns "private." Then a few weeks later you find out it was something like kidney stones, or something that was in no way shape or form something to be considered "private."

I mean, maybe I'm the only one, but the very moment I hear of someone's health concerns being kept "private," my mind immediately tends to think: "They were doing something illegal/wrong," or "They're dying." I mean, what else -would- someone think? Then it turns out they had the fuckin' flu and you're like "Christ, friend, you almost gave me a heart attack from worry!"

So.. what are the reasons to keep medical issues private -unless- it's something terribly bad?

Discuss~

[Viazon]

Maybe some people just want to discuss their private issues to others. No matter how trivial they may be.

[Locke]

I guess that's a possibility but I would think people have enough sense to know that a very common perception would be that if their ailments are kept under lock and key, people are going to assume very bad things. Why not just avoid that?

[Hanley!]

It does seem like an invitation to people to assume the worst, so I don't really know. If I was in hospital with kidney stones, I wouldn't have a problem telling anyone that was why I was in there. Refusing to tell people would naturally lead them to assume that it's either something very serious or very embarrassing.

Maybe it's just a case where some people feel like their privacy is being violated when questioned, and they just keep it secret out of instinct or because that's what feels most comfortable to them. I wouldn't have a problem with anyone making that decision, I just couldn't really relate to it.

[Locke]

^I feel exactly the same way, pretty much. I mean I don't really 'mind' that people keep their ailments private, but I guess where I get irked is that they just -have- to know that people are going to assume the worst. Then again, I'm a natural pessimist. Maybe it's just something pessimists think? I dunno.. but the moment I hear person A is in the medbay, and the reasons won't be shared, I'm like "OMFG AIDS/CANCER/DEATH" and can't help it. And I hate it.

[Str8Shooter]

Yeah I think people probably just don't want it being broadcast by people to everyone they know. It's one thing to tell your close friend or family member, but you don't want them going out and suddenly your neighbour knows, your friends co workers know, the weird guy down the street knows.

[Viazon]

Usually when someone says that they were in hospital, I never actually ask why. I usually just say something along the lines of, "I hope you are doing ok now." Just on the off chance that it is something they don't want to talk about.

[Kirbi]

Why are we making the assumption that they'd care what others think about their medical circumstances while they're being treated for something unexpected, or just life disrupting?

If I was unexpectedly hospitalised, I'd doubt I have the time to be giving a fuck about the curiosity of my acquaintances. Maybe they just let the news out when they get around to it?

[Locke]

What if you're in the hospital for like 2 or 3 weeks and you're not even in an induced coma. Your friends are going to wonder why you're in the hospital for 3 weeks and if you're in an induced coma (lol).. They're going to think something horrible is happening. When the info is held so tightly, it makes it even worse.

[Kirbi]

^^^
Is this a specific incident you're taking about? I'd say that anyone who's hospitalised for 2-3 weeks has bigger things to be worrying about than whether everyone knows what they should, or might prefer. It might not be ideal, but shit happens.

In general, though, I'd say this could fall into a few categories:

* They really are much more private people than you might have thought, or than what is usual.

* They just didn't even think of it.

* They didn't want to make a big deal of it, or come off as dramatic.

* They told the people closest to them, and not everyone made the cut.

* They figured news would get around, but there's some sort of hole in the line of communication.

There's plenty of reasons.

[Locke]

It's got to be one those personality things that can't be easily explained to others.

I've been hospitalized many times, sometimes for over 3 or 4 days. I always wanted to make sure people knew why. Not for drama or some BS, but for the opposite.. I have had people I am friends with or acquaintances with hospitalized for lengthy periods and I have seen the fallout of what happens when it's "private." Out of at least 8 or 9 times this has happened, only twice was it really serious.

Call it matter of perspective, but in my own opinion, the people with every day ailments that just need some time in the hospital that keep it "secret" are actually the dramatic ones to begin with. The other two times that it was serious, it was serious, and I felt I understood why they'd want to keep the drama down.. even though people already assumed the worst, they understood that the afflicted were putting on a brave face and it was wonderful and inspiring. I can't say the same about the rest, it was just an annoyance.

I guess I'm just nosy but it seems dumb to me to keep anything quiet, because if you're being quiet for an embarrassing reason, those reasons will be assumed immediately. If you're being quiet because you don't want your friends to worry, your friends will worry immediately. It just seems really counter productive and horrible to me.

[Kirbi]

I really don't get this, and I think you might be best off trying to alter your perspective on it. You are not entitled to anyone's personal medical information. There's nothing wrong, or inconsiderate, about them keeping this information contained.

And if you know that a close friend of yours is in hospital, and you're worried about them, I don't get why you wouldn't just offer to visit? This whole thing is really confusing to me.

[EmperorWu]

I don't get why someone would even bring up that they were in the hospital, and then get defensive when people naturally asked what was wrong, and if they were ok.

[PorkChop]

I don't get why someone would even bring up that they were in the hospital, and then get defensive when people naturally asked what was wrong, and if they were ok.

Agreed. You'd expect to be asked why you were in hospital, and if this would annoy you you'd surely avoid the subject entirely.

[Kein]

Word gets out, someone knows and someone says so-and-so was in the hospital and it can spread like wildfire. Someone is missing from an event? Oh they were in the hospital? Everyone knows.

I think a lot of people don't want to talk about their hospital visits because it can be embarrassing. Something eventful like a broken bone is really not that big of a deal, it was an accident, they have a cast on, it's already out there.

But if they have kidney stones, or almost went into a diabetic coma, that speaks more for their health and their lifestyle that maybe they don't want everyone to know. People can make assumptions about how they live, what they eat, how active they are, etc. People assume, they really do, and when someone has health problems some people discredit anything they say, pertaining to the subject.

It depends on the issue, but it's also sometimes just a hassle to explain. If you got all your friends one by one finding out, you get to tell them the history of why you are in the state you are in, what you need to do to fix it, have them nag you if you aren't doing it right (cause everyone is a specialist, I mean we read on the internet.....) and it really gets old. You might be hearing it once, but they could be explaining it for the 20th time. Sometimes it's easier to just not get into it, e.i. say it was nothing.

[Locke]

I'd prefer them to say it was "Nothing" than them say "Well it was something but I ain't telling you."

I'm nosy. Fuck it.

[Twister]

I don't get why someone would even bring up that they were in the hospital, and then get defensive when people naturally asked what was wrong, and if they were ok.

Agreed. You'd expect to be asked why you were in hospital, and if this would annoy you you'd surely avoid the subject entirely.

I agree, it's like when people on Facebook 'check in' at the hospital but don't elaborate. Before they know it they have a string of comments from 'concerned friends' asking them what's wrong. Sure fire way to drum up some attention, hook line and sinker.

It's different if word gets out through hear say when you didn't necessarily want it to though.

[War Daddy]

So I went to the hospital today. I really dont wanna get into the reasons why though...

[Chewy]

Maybe they don't tell you because you're a nosy cunt and they can see it annoys you.

[Circled Square]

damn it chewy