May 2016 Football Thread: Leicester are nearly there...

[AkydefGoldberg]

If Spurs fail to win tomorrow, the title is heading to Leicester.

For any manager to win it in recent years, Ranieri has to be the most likeable and genuine. He's off to Italy for lunch with his 96-year-old Mum and probably won't know the Spurs result!

United's top four dreams are over - standard performance under LVG.

[SlightlyJames]

Rangers have managed 2 points from 12 in the last 4 league games of the season. Mission accomplished or not there's no excusing that, they certainly haven't looked like Champions since the Old Firm. Now we've 3 weeks without a game before the Scottish Cup Final which won't help either, hoping the team get their arse out of holiday mode before then.

[SlightlyJames]

Been a whole lot of talk in the last week or so of Rangers bringing in Jordan Rossiter from Liverpool. Supposedly he's had injury woes this season keeping him out of the team and now he's out the door. We'd be able to have him for a £250k development fee but people are saying it'd be more like £8 million down south which is why we're looking like the most likely destination.

Sounds like it'd be a steal for Rangers, he can play holding midfield and we desperately need someone competent in there (all due respect to Andy Halliday it's just not his position) and at 19 years of age he's exactly the sort of player Warburton likes to bring in. Colour me excited!

[Daz]

If Norwich beat Watford on Wednesday and Sunderland lose, we'll have the slimmest of hopes going into the final day of the season against Everton. I think it'll be more exciting if it's a three way race for survival on the last day, but even if that is the case, I can't see Norwich pulling it off. We bottled it in every game since Crystal Palace away and we just have nobody with any fight in our squad. Well maybe Alex Tettey, but he's injured.

If we go down, which is looking likely, we'll probably lose Klose, who is absolutely tremendous and exactly what we've been missing at centre back for going on five seasons now. We really need to try and keep hold of him and possibly offload Bassong. Seb will be fine in the Championship but we really need to rebuild from the floor up and he's got one of the highest wages at the club. He's not gonna cut it if we're able to come straight back up again, which has to be the aim. Pinto and Olsson as Wing Backs in the championship will tear shit up.

We'll likely lose Redmond and Howson this time. Howson is just quality and is a total workhorse. He'd fit in well in any lower Prem midfield. I think he'd work well at Swansea. Redmond only has a year left on his contract and the way he gets left out and misused for us is probably stalling his development. Leaving would probably be better for him in the long run.

Our strikeforce will consist of RVW, Lafferty and Jerome. We sold Grabban and Hooper, which is looking like bad business all around now. RVW will probably get loaned out or sold. A season in the Championship would probably do wonders for his confidence. When we signed him he was a quality striker who'd been capped for his country. Now he looks like a shell of a player completely out of his depth. That's what playing for Norwich does to players.

Fuck knows what we'll do with Naismith, Jarvis, Mulumbu, Dorrans etc. Mulumbu looked class in pre-seasons but never recovered after he broke his foot and has looked completely unfit all season. Naismith was excellent against Liverpool in his debut and has been utter shit since. I can't imagine he'll want to play in the Championship next seasons.

And to top it all off, our Chief Executive resigned. David McNally is probably the best thing to happen to the club in the entire time I've been alive. Got us out of debt, appointed both Lambert and Alex Neil who have been excellent for us. Turned the club around after getting relegated to League 1. I'm not sure where this leaves us now.

Future is looking pretty bleak for Norwich City at the minute.


I apologise for the long rant.

[AkydefGoldberg]

In any other seasons, United would not have a single chance of a top four place but somehow, City have contrived to give us another chance. Need to win vs West Ham at Boleyn Ground Upton Park which ICYMI, they are leaving the ground and it's their last game at home. They lost 4-1 to Swansea so they will be up for it but with Rashford back, and our 3-1 win in the FA Cup there recently, hopefully it's three points for us.

[Daz]

Norwich winning 3-1 but still going down cause Everton are a bunch of lazy cunts who aren't interested in defending. Fuck.

[PorkChop]

Norwich winning 3-1 but still going down cause Everton are a bunch of lazy cunts who aren't interested in defending. Fuck.

Come play with us in the Championship, @Daz. Forever.

[Daz]

Norwich winning 3-1 but still going down cause Everton are a bunch of lazy cunts who aren't interested in defending. Fuck.

Come play with us in the Championship, @Daz. Forever.

Villa's one victory of the year can come at Norwich's expense. Or maybe we'll be seeing each other in the playoff final. Could do with another trip to Wembley.

[PorkChop]

Glad that Martinez has been sacked. The guy is an absolute charlatan.

I remember after his spell at Wigan, where he was basically in charge of an unflushable turd, he turned Villa down because he wanted a club in the Champions League. Everton came along and in his interview, Martinez' first words were "I can get you the Champions League." He'd shown absolutely nothing in his career to even suggest he could manage a team near the top of the league, but it seems everyone thought so highly of him (including himself). He played utterly shit football at Wigan, where they were getting smashed 3-0 and 4-0 pretty regularly, sometimes even 8-0 on occasion, yet he had a reputation as an exciting 'tiki taka' guy, probably because he's Spanish.

Everton currently have their best team in YEARS, and are so far away from the Champions League it's not funny. He inherited a team put together by Moyes which did well in his first season, but once he'd put his mark on the team they started to drop down the table. Martinez teams can't defend to save their lives and he doesn't really seem to have any knowledge of how to organise a back four. His only tactic is to sign Alcaraz and hope for the best.

I'm so glad he's gone. He never deserved to manage a club like Everton anyway given the position they were in at the time, and hopefully his dreadful tenure at Everton will make people wise up and see that Martinez is all talk. He's yet to actually take a Premier League club up the table, but no doubt he'll be back with his cartload of bullshit to sell to chairmen in the near future. He should go to a mid-table Championship club and prove his worth before he shows his face in the Premier League again.

[AkydefGoldberg]

His core premise of wanting to play attacking football was admired but ultimately, he lives in managerial philosophy fairy land where he'll probably meet Louis van Gaal for a drink at in the near distant future.

A story goes that when at Wigan, when they lost 9-1 to Tottenham and Defoe scored five goals, in the dressing room most managers would go ape at their players. Not Roberto, he just told the players to play the way they are hence their relegation in 2013 despite an FA Cup win.

I hated his arrogance in that first year especially, when building on Moyes' squad and guiding Everton to fifth place, he seemed to believe his own hype yet that season he failed in getting them fourth when they had a good chance. Next two seasons were the ultimate judge of Martinez' management ability, eventually his man-management broke down leading to that awful decision to make Baines apologise to the squad for stating the truth and then making it public! Stones/Barkley have struggled and lost their confidence because he can't seem to focus on defence, to the point Garry Monk said at Swansea, they never did set pieces work.

His comments were utterly Brendan Rodgers-esque, in fact, I'd say they were worse.

Everton's next boss? Probably De Boer. Not sure Pellegrini's the right man though for that squad that needs some coaching.

[PorkChop]

Paul Merson on Sky Sports News just now:

"Martinez just played a style of football that Everton fans didn't like. Honestly, if he went to Barcelona, he'd be a success"

Does Martinez pay pundits to say these things?

[AkydefGoldberg]

^Merson was hammering Martinez a few weeks ago, indirectly, when criticising Stones! Buffoon of a pundit he is..

[Viazon]

Paul Merson on Sky Sports News just now:

"Martinez just played a style of football that Everton fans didn't like. Honestly, if he went to Barcelona, he'd be a success"

Does Martinez pay pundits to say these things?

Did he actually seriously say this? Because this has got to be one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. And for it to come from a guy who was a professional football and who is now a football pundit makes it even worse.

[PorkChop]

Paul Merson on Sky Sports News just now:

"Martinez just played a style of football that Everton fans didn't like. Honestly, if he went to Barcelona, he'd be a success"

Does Martinez pay pundits to say these things?

Did he actually seriously say this? Because this has got to be one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. And for it to come from a guy who was a professional football and who is now a football pundit makes it even worse.

Merson 100% said it, I even rewound it to make sure as I couldn't believe it the first time around.

It's a pretty stupid comment anyway, as being successful at Barcelona doesn't really reflect a manager's ability. My nan could be successful at Barcelona. The black players would probably go on strike due to her casual racism, though.

[SlightlyJames]

Sky are saying that Joey Barton is at Murray Park. Oh dear. Not doubting his talent as a player, based on that alone this would be a fucking coup. But he seems a bit of a numpty from all I've heard, hope he doesn't disrupt the dressing room in the event he signs.

On the other hand, I'm pretty chuffed that the Rossiter signing went through. He's the type of player we needed and by all accounts he's got bags of quality. Between him, Windass and Crooks that's a nice start to the preparations for next season.

[Viazon]

Paul Merson on Sky Sports News just now:

"Martinez just played a style of football that Everton fans didn't like. Honestly, if he went to Barcelona, he'd be a success"

Does Martinez pay pundits to say these things?

Did he actually seriously say this? Because this has got to be one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. And for it to come from a guy who was a professional football and who is now a football pundit makes it even worse.

Merson 100% said it, I even rewound it to make sure as I couldn't believe it the first time around.

But didn't any of the other pundits he was with tell him how stupid it was?

[AkydefGoldberg]

Barton at Rangers sounds like a ploy with Burnley to get a new deal over the line for definite. Would be stunned if he snubbed the PL for SPL and the chance for the big time in the former.

Barca win the La Liga as expected despite it going to the last weekend. Man, weekends will be quiet until the Euros come along..

[AkydefGoldberg]

So Manchester United end a three year trophy drought with an FA Cup win over Crystal Palace, who played their gameplan to a tee for Van Gaal's tactics, minus the embarrassing dance from Pardiola when they went 1-0 up.

Lingard's goal was a beauty, nicely struck but the game was looking like a replica of a Van Gaal led side until Palace went 1-0 up.

[Enygma]

So Arsenal have signed Granit Xhaka despite it not being announced yet, pictures of him posing in next seasons kits have leaked online. Never seen him play. Heard good things about him though, been dubbed the "The Young Schweinsteiger" makes him hope he is finally Vieria's replacement. Also Wenger paying £30m for a 23 year old doesn't come round often. He must be a big talent for Wenger to pay that much for a 23 year old. Also, our squad numbers are having a big change around too, with Cech taking #1, Alexis taking #7, Coquelin taking #8 and Xhaka apparently taking #34

[AkydefGoldberg]

^He seems to be highly rated but experience is the key for Arsenal. The striking position should be where they should be investing and still to this day, cannot understand why they let Higuain go to Napoli and spend money on Ozil, who despite being a good player when the team is in-form, wasn't the player they really needed at that time.

Ibrahimovic edging closer to joining United as Mourinho's first signing, that's exciting! Hope he can live up to the Zlatan mystique and score goals, but it's his personality that'll be most required as it seems some players were coasting to the point they couldn't boil a fricking egg!