Swansea 0 V
Man City 3(12.45pm) - Swansea is not a very masculine name, especially not compared to MAN CITY
Arsenal 753 V Cardiff 0 - Cardiff is so fucked.
Crystal Palace 2V Norwich 1 - Crystal Palace has had my back before. We ride together, we die together
Fulham 2 V West Ham 1 - Well when you've got a full ham vs. only a west ham, clearly the full ham is superior.
Liverpool 2 V Hull 1 - I'll dedicate this pick to prophet.
Southampton 2 V Chelsea 2 TIE - I think Chelsea is probably the better team because I've heard of them, but every dog has its day.
Stoke 0 V
Everton 2 - Everton's American will propel them to victory.
Sunderland 1 V Aston Villa 1 TIE - I'm not particularly fond of either team here. Not that I know anything about either of them.
West Brom 1 V
Newcastle 3 - Newcastle has its own beer. What exactly does West Brom have? Nothing.
Man Utd 3V Tottenham 0 - Tottenham sucks and Man Utd doesn't.
Bonus game:
Dagenham & Redbridge 2 vs. Wimbledon 1 - THIS AIN'T TENNIS! Dagenham & Redbridge has twice the name which means it'll have twice the points.